Savvy Sophistication

A letter from the heart of a big sister who’s been there.

Hey, baby girl.

There are some things we need to talk about — things I wish someone would’ve told us sooner.

Because I know what it feels like to carry pain in silence.

To wait for the apology that never came.

To wonder if maybe you imagined it… if maybe it was your fault… if maybe they didn’t mean it the way it felt.

But let me say this loud and clear — you weren’t crazy, and you didn’t deserve it.

What happened hurt.

And you didn’t get the closure you hoped for, did you? You waited for the conversation, the acknowledgment, the “you were right,” the “I’m sorry,” and it never showed up. Just like them. Just like the truth. Just like justice.

But here’s what I need you to know:

Your healing isn’t tied to their apology.

I know it feels unfair. It is.

But freedom was never going to come from their mouth anyway — it was always going to come from God’s hands.

You can release what they refuse to carry.

You can walk away from the memory without letting it own you anymore.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean they were right.

It means you’re choosing to stop reliving the moment they were wrong.

Forgiveness is the moment you tell your heart:

“Even if they never say a word, I’m done holding this.”

“I’m not waiting for them to make it right — I’m letting God make me whole.”

And girl, let me tell you, He will.

He already is.

He sees every tear, every replay, every sleepless night.

He knows what they said, what they did, what they didn’t do.

And He’s not asking you to forget — just to hand it over. So you can finally breathe again.

You’re not weak for letting go — that’s strength.

You’re not bitter for remembering — that’s wisdom.

You’re not behind for still healing — that’s being real.

You may never get an apology. But you can still get free.

And the peace that’s coming for you? It’s going to feel like air after a lifetime of holding your breath.

So take your time.

Cry if you need to.

Then stand up, brush your heart off, and say with your whole chest:

“I forgive you… not because you asked. But because I deserve to move forward.”

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.”

— Matthew 5:9

And sis… peace is your portion now.

With all my love,

The version of you who made it out, healed, and still believes in soft hearts.

C