Savvy Sophistication

Manners Matter

Manners in our modern world feels like a taboo topic today. Almost no one opens the door for the elderly, nor is it customary to pull out a chair for a lady in today’s times. Imagine yourself as a young woman in the late 1800’s wearing gloves and a tea gown for as something simple such as a luncheon. Today it’s more common to pull out our cellphone and post to Instagram or check an email before we place a napkin in our lap at dinner. Manners are so very important and can open more opportunities than anything else will. I’m a firm believer that no one will remember what you said, but they will most definitely remember how you made them feel by your presence. Are you a ray of sunshine when you enter the room, or a dark cloud? Today’s society could use good manners, great conversation, and a light of positivity. #politepositivity

How About Modern Manners?

Traditional vs. Modern Views

Traditional etiquette has always included proper introductions, and a firm handshake. With technology today and the mark of Covid we have forgotten about eye contact, small talk, and social interactions. Proper attire for every occasion all the way down to the hem, and the importance  of a dress code. Sweatpants and joggers are great at the gym, but definitely not appropriate for the office. Today’s generation are masters of TikTok videos, but not writing thank you notes or hosting a dinner party. What would it take to keep manners alive? To bring back old traditions and make them modernized.

“When you know you can do something, and you feel good about yourself, you do not have to devalue others.” ⁠—John Patrick Hickey

The Role of Technology

Impact of Digital Communication

It all started with MySpace, then Facebook, twitter, Instagram, and now we have so many social media platforms it’s hard to keep up these days. It’s even hard to figure out what’s AI and what’s real! Are we sure we are just seeing a honest review or a paid influencer? The highlight reel of social media and the impact it has made on mental health is alarming. Knowing the difference between authenticity and a false narrative is hard these days. We now define interactions through likes and comments instead of meaningful conversation and social gatherings. Society uses social media as a tool to hide behind a platform and we often forget there is another person on the other end of that screen. Now don’t get me wrong I believe that social media and technology has its perks. It is super useful, and I enjoy using it. However, are we using proper etiquette? Are we minding our manners while using it? Can we be authentic in everything we do? I believe it’s all possible to have manner evolve even on online platforms. We maintain this by keeping our personal beliefs and convictions honest, but well polished. We stay kind instead of making rude comments. We use social media as a tool for positive words of encouragement, and not to use it as a way to pursue an unhealthy following.

“The measure of good manners is how you treat those who don’t have any.” –Unknown

Manners in Different Settings

Workplace Etiquette

Now, let’s talk etiquette in the modern world of our careers. So many entrepreneurs and start ups in today’s time. Which I believe is amazing because everyone has unique gifts to offer the world. So how do we remain professional? We keep what we know at the core which is the golden rule. We treat others the way we want to be treated. We keep firm handshakes and professionalism alive. We also do this by setting boundaries within our hard work. We show up on time ready to go and remain well groomed. We dress appropriately for each occasion, and work on speaking skills in the art of charm filled characteristics. Success is defined by perseverance, and doing the right thing at all times. It means keeping integrity in mind, and social manners at reach. 

“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” ⁠—Clarence Thomas

Social Etiquette

Let me ask you this: Do you want to be friends with the rude gossip who has zero respect for others or themselves? Or would you rather be socially engaged with someone mature, kind, and respectful? Social gatherings require being polished, graceful, and well spoken. It’s important to be the friend or mentor that you seek in others. Social gatherings and interactions should be of good measure and constructive conversation. In relationships we should keep healthy boundaries, but more importantly we should be respectful of others and examine our own behavior. Are we kind? Do we have good posture? These are things that can be practiced by breaking out of our comfort zones. One social tip I will always remember is that using a breath mint is better than a piece of gum. My southern nanny always told me it’s better to be remembered by having good breath, and not chewing on gum like a livestock animal. She always had a southernism with a touch of humor. She will always be remembered for being a lady with manners, that sent flowers, and wrote thank you notes. What will you be remembered for?

“Politeness [is] a sign of dignity, not subservience.” ―Theodore Roosevelt

Teaching Manners in the Modern Age

Challenges and Solutions

We can start by passing down basic manners to our children. We keep tradition alive by instilling it in our children. Remember they are sponges waiting to hear what we have to say. Remind them to use their napkin, chew with their mouth closed, and which fork is for salad. Often we can reduce screen time and use dinner time as a way to teach conversation and ask about their days. It could make their college interview easier, or give them the confidence to go out into the world and make their own way. Just because the world is fast paced doesn’t mean that our manners can’t be incorporated. You can gentle parent, and teach children that manners still matter. 

“There is no rest for the person who has envy, and there is no love for the person who has bad manners.” —Ali ibn Abi Talib

Modern Manners Matter

Just because the world has become digital doesn’t mean our etiquette has to take a backseat. Our children deserve to live in a polite world, and one that is full of kindness. It starts with us at home, and it’s easier than people think. After all when we leave this world the only thing left is what we have left behind. Have you left a path of politeness, manners, and significance? Manners don’t have to be taboo in today’s society. It can be the normal elegant lifestyle we all deserve to have. After all, manners matter!

#staysavvy 

Best,

Corey